“Negotiating is probably the most important element in the sale process,” says Julie Gelfond, a Coldwell Banker Devonshire associate who works in Denver and Boca Raton, Fla. “I tell clients they are not only hiring me to list and to advertise, but they are also hiring my expertise in negotiating because that is how they are going to make money or lose money. I have seen contracts with a $200,000 gap resolved just on the skills of the negotiator.”

       Most affluent buyers are expert negotiators themselves, a factor that would seemingly facilitate the process, but this is not the experience of high-end brokers. Luxury buyers typically have a less pressing incentive to purchase and more flexibility regarding price, location and time.

Additionally, ego becomes a bigger factor as prices rise, say experts like Mark Nash, a Chicago broker who has authored several real estate books. “Each side thinks they have to win and a real estate transaction is about both sides feeling that they have won. Until that happens, they won’t have an accepted contract. Most participants (in the upper end) are used to getting their own way and are not used to having to compromise.”

"A real estate transaction is about both sides feeling that they have won. Until that happens, they won't have an accepted contract. Most participants (in the upper end) are used to getting their own way"

 A lot of it is just egos,” observes Bernice Ross, trainer, author and CEO of RealEstateCoach.com in Austin Texas, referring to conflicts that arise on the road to closing. “People who are very successful want to win.” Good agents, she says, keep all parties on an even keel; in addition to being a conduit of information, the agent’s job is to remove egos from the process.

Low-ball offers, which many sellers interpret as a personal insult, are a good example. The typical response is to end the discussion by refusing to counteroffer; some sellers even threaten to take the house off the market. However, agents say to look at a low offer as nothing more than simply a low offer and only one strategy buyers might employ. Their advice? Respond and keep lines of communication open. “You never know what is going to happen in the next round,” advises Ross, who was dubbed “America’s top real estate coach” by Inman News Features. “I usually urge sellers to give me a chance to put it together.”

Knowledge is power, particularly during negotiations. Sales of comparable properties, expectations for market conditions in the next six months and how long it currently takes a comparable property to sell will provide enough background to enable sellers to honestly assess offers. Ross reminds sellers to “take a good look at the actual hard cost of any decision.” How much does a $5,000 difference translate into over 30 years? Exclusions from lighting fixtures to ornamental planters can assume huge proportions during negotiations. Regain perspective by “bringing it down to the smallest common denominator and take ego out of it,” Ross says.  “Time is of the essence” might be legal jargon, but it is most applicable to the time between offer and closing. Savvy agents will include a date and time for a response to offers and counteroffers. “Time is the enemy! Never let a buyer take too long to make a decision; it gives them a chance to change their mind,” advises Michael Shvo, principal of the Shvo Group in Manhattan.

Contingencies that stretch the time between offer and closing also can jeopardize the deal. A good negotiator will ensure that all contingencies will have passed within two weeks of the finalized offer, says Gelfond. Added insurance to seal the deal is a substantial deposit.
       Home inspections can bring a new set of issues. Nash urges sellers to learn what is common practice in their market. “You have to read the verbiage in the contract. In our market, buyers can’t ask for anything that still works for its intended use, no matter how old it is.” For example, if a water heater is at the end of its projected life span but still is working, buyers in Illinois can't ask that it be replaced.
       Should buyers and sellers ever meet? “It can be a real double-edged sword,” cautions Nash. “You never know where it can go and once you get in there you can’t go back.” The climate between buyers and sellers can be so charged that the most trivial items can sour the entire deal. “Agents should make the decision based on the dynamics of the transaction, but sellers shouldn’t be there when the house is shown.”

In the end, Nash advises sellers not to “stand in the way of the transaction if overall terms are agreeable. Transactions take a level of flexibility and sometimes little hiccups and burps. Let the agent do their job and don’t micromanage them.”

However, buyers and sellers should know that an agent also can become too emotionally involved in the outcome of any detail of the process. In most cases, the other agent will be able to redirect him/her back to the goal of a closing. Buyers and sellers should know they can contact an agent’s broker or manager if they aren’t happy with the process, Ross says.